On How Women Are ‘Supposed’ to Look

I’ve noticed a phenomenon as my body has changed. When people online disagree with me or just plain old don’t like me, they say I look like a man. They say women aren’t ‘supposed’ to look like I look. They say it behind my back and they say it to my face. I hear this message in the media too, in reference to women like Jessica Beil, Madonna, Gwen Stafani, Pink.

Well here’s the thing, I look like this because I use my body to do what it evolved to do: work hard and move a lot. Our ancestors didn’t sit on their butts all day like we do. They walked thousands of miles every year, they hunted (chased!) game on foot, they built their own shelters (sometimes several times a year), they carried their children on their backs, they dug tubers out of the ground and gathered fruit from the tops of trees, they crossed rivers with loads on their backs, they climbed mountains and crossed deserts and rowed boats across entire oceans…they depended on their bodies to be strong and agile, and you can bet your ass that our foremothers had biceps and pecs and lats every bit as well defined as our forefathers. THAT is how women are supposed to look. That is how our bodies evolved to function. If my body wasn’t supposed to look strong and muscular, it wouldn’t. All I’m doing is moving. I’m not taking steroids or supplements or even eating a high protein diet. I’m simply using my body the way it was designed to be used, and the result is that I look…GASP…strong. The truth is that I don’t look like a man, I look like a strong healthy woman, and people are just so unaccustomed to seeing such a thing that they file me under the heading they’re used to filing strong people under, ‘man’.

I can do pullups and you know what? You can too. Women are NOT inherently weak, our capacity for strength is far greater than we (and society) give ourselves credit for. And there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON that we shouldn’t use our bodies to their full capacity. In fact, I’d contend that NOT using our bodies to their full capacity is the real disservice.

Also, breast implants aren’t natural. If I was ‘supposed’ to have large perky boobs after nursing two children, I would, without surgical intervention. My teensy boobies are exactly what nature intended for me and I’m quite happy with them exactly the way they are.

And my message to haters? I don’t care what you think. I love the way I look. Love it. I’m not changing for anyone, and saying I look like a man? Doesn’t bother me one itty bitty little bit.

14 thoughts on “On How Women Are ‘Supposed’ to Look

  1. *pfft*

    You look awesome.

    I have serious bicep envy going on over here–
    but just you give me a couple of months…! πŸ™‚

  2. I like that you DIDN’T say that just because it’s the way you’re supposed to look that it’s the way everyone else is suppose to look too. Everyone is so different, let’s just embrace it all. Healthy is the new skinny πŸ˜‰

  3. so needed to read this!! πŸ™‚ THanks for sharing! Heard that alot and i let myself go because of it… well not no more! Im taking myself back! Thanks for the inspiration!

  4. How sad that people feel the need to hate with words. You look amazing, strong and healthy. You go girl!

  5. You’re absolutely correct. You look how nature intended you to look and that’s beautiful. I only wish my arms looked like yours :).

    • Thanks Kristy. I bet you have a pretty killer body part too. πŸ™‚ We always have a hard time appreciating our strengths.

  6. At first I would like to make clear that I think you look fine. I like that level of leanness and definition in women. One thing I tend to disagree on: While our female ancestors were strong for sure (you can still find that sturdy type of strength in some peasant women who follow a relatively traditional lifestyle) I donΒ΄t think they were necessarily lean (low body fat). I do not think that the woman of thousands of years ago were obese but they certainly carried some fat stores in their hips and thighs. So, yes, they did have strong backs and arms but probably not low enough body fat to show them…

    • Yeah, the whole ‘model our behavior and bodies after cavemen’ thing is pretty dumb. The point I was trying to make is that this is what my body looks like when I do what my body is designed to do: work hard, move a lot, and eat real food. I’m not doing anything unnatural or extreme, so my body is natural and normal and exactly what it is supposed to be.

      I have some nice fat stores in my hips and thighs, btw, lol! πŸ™‚

  7. Amen! I love my toned, strong biceps and I love my itty bitty boobies! lol Thanks for posting this!!

  8. Incredibly well said. The fact is that every single body is unique and looks exactly like it ought to look… given the circumstances it’s been living in, as you said. I think you look spectacular, and just as you’re “supposed” to!

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