Make Up Your Minds, Will You?

In the span of one month, I have been publicly ridiculed for being too fat AND too lean. Both times by low-carb dieters.

So which is it? Am I too fat or too lean? (Hint: I’m neither. I’m just fine exactly the way I am.) And what the fuck do carbs have to do with it?

I’ve never used my blog, facebook page, or twitter feed to personally attacked ANYONE. Why am I being attacked, and what for? Being too fat? Being too lean? This is stupid. Personal attacks are STUPID.

Grow the fuck up, people.

33 thoughts on “Make Up Your Minds, Will You?

  1. Just wanted to say your awesome and I have been recovering from a restrictive bout of eating and over exercising that lasted 4 years and your sire it very encouraging :) Ive been eating 4000 calories per day for 4 months now (and I am 23 years old, 5’6 and 118 pounds) and I seem to be maintaining this weight while slowly gaining ad not exercising. Now, I also eat 400 grams of carbs per day….and it makes me so happy! So, go eat those carbs! Everyone needs them, truly, it does make people cranky I have noticed! No one seems to understand how amazing the body really is and how it all works. We can all eat between 3000-4000 calories per day and loads of carbs just like you and I and be just fine :)

    Your site and posts and experiences are very inspiring. Thank you :)

    Have a great day!

    • Shannon, YOU inspire ME! Im so happy to hear how hard u are working to help heal ur body and spirit. I have no doubt that u will beat all this…ur attitude and drive is apparent in your words.

      If u dont mind, id love to know more about ur recovdry journey, for i am going thru a similar situation, but cant figure out how to get my cals higher. What is ur daily diet (meals and snacks) like? If u do 400g carbs, how do u balance that with pro and fat (grams)? U really inspire me, and i hope u dont mind me asking for more specifics, for it can give me (and many others) some good ideas!

      Ps, if u would rather email, let me know! Id love to support each other thru this!


      • :) But I dont really focus on ” a diet” so to speak.

        I eat 4 packets of oatmeal (Quaker maple brown sugar) per day…EVERY DAy! Along with 4-5 bagels or english muffins, 3 apples, about 2 servings of veggies (depending on the day) about 4-5 helpings of pretzels every day (I LOVE pretzels…too much! hehe but thats okay!) 2 sandwhiches (ham/turkey) and I have a lot of hummus per day too. ANd I ALWAYS am helping myself to the pretzels bag….throughout the day! Oh ad yogurts have lots of carbs, and I usually eat 2 a day. Cereal….oh god, I have about 3-4 bowls per day an they are massive :)

        As for the protein, I usually have about 1 protein shake per day (although I dont work out/ I do have a job where I am occasionally on my feet for up to 5-6 hours depending but usually no more than 3 days a week). I eat a ca of tuna every day. I have ham/turkey sandwiches, and the bread ad oatmeal actually has protein too, so thats always a plus considering how much of it I eat :D

        Fat, I really dont focus on too too much, but I do snack on almonds throughout the day and the tuna ad lunchmeat, etc has some fat in it too. And protein shakes have fat as well. And I usually have a chicken breast cooked in olive oil many days of the week….so that helps I think :)

        And I work at a restaurant, so I do get the food there (greasy and coated in oil most of the time, even the chicken haha)

        I hope that helps! I can easily, easily down 3500-4000 cals each day. And that amount definitely feels normal for me now! Although, even when “restricting” I ate 1800-2500 each day with exercise. So, its wonderful that I can eat this much now….with NO EXERCISE really ;)

        • What do u think is enabling u to double ur cals and not gain, despite not exercising? Have u notcied any positive/negative changes since doing so? Again, im proud of u for doing this….it mustve been frightening at first!

          That is an impressive meal plan, lol…thanks for sharing! Another thing u can chow on is dates….loaded in good cals and carbs, but wont fill u up (and very nutritious too)

          Whats ur email addy?

          U sound like u r in such a good place….like the chains have been removed from your ankles. Keep it up!

          • Our bodies are MUCH smarter than we give them creidt for. I am able to eat that much because that is what my body needs…and we actually have no idea how much damage we have done with over exercising over the years. Therefore, our bodies NEED a lot of calories to repair the damage done by restriction. And once you drop the exercise and pick up this eating plan, you will find that you absolutely DO NOT need to exercise to maintain your weight, your body maintains your weight FOR YOU. That is why it is so important to get so many calories in, and enough, and more than enough, because that is how the body burns off any “extra” calories it may not need, through normal body functions. But, those body functions dont run or work properly if the etabolism is supressed (as it is and will continue to be if you continue with over exercise and not eating recovery amounts) and the longer you continue exercise and such patterns….the longer your metabolism stays supressed, which means you will be gaining on low amounts.

            I have upped my calories, and stopped exercise, therefore, my body can now use the calories for regulating body functions….which is how the body maintains weight.

            I hope that makes sense.

            I feel SO MUCH

  2. Criticizing someone for not meeting some sort of subjectively defined gender appearance standard is really pathetic and telling of the person making the comment. Healthy women (and men) come in all sorts of shapes and sizes!

  3. Hell with ‘em. Like my old friend George Lopez likes to say – and what we say in my neighborhood >>> “Don’t look at it if you don’t like it!”

  4. You just keep doing what you’re doing! I agree with everyone here who says you INSPIRE them and make them stronger. I’ve been reading your blogs and FB posts for several months now. In those few short months you have helped me become a STRONGER person. I have become stronger physically and emotionally through your words. People are beginning to notice it. Some people think it’s great and others are a little startled by it…like my husband and young adult children. I LOVE it and will continue to advocate for myself and speak my mind instead of “eating” my feelings and thinking people aren’t interested in my opinion. Even if they aren’t interested in it
    …..I am! Thank you! You continue to be my HERO!!

  5. When you put yourself “out there” in the world in any way, people have reactions. It’s often more about them than you.

    When I started my business, I started charging what I thought was a decent price — what I felt both I and my customers would be happy earning/paying.

    The others in my field were *alarmed!* and the criticism was hilarious. I was at a party, and someone complained that my lower-than-everyone-else’s price point (price fixing anyone?) was “devaluing the work that we do.”

    A math-whiz boyfriend pointed out, though, that while their classes are X price for 1.5 hrs and mine are Y price for 45 minutes, and where my price point sits fits algorithm Z, which means that, in fact, my price point is above the price point that they are charging per minute, which makes sense considering factors A, B, and E (market conditions).

    At which point they all complained that I was “overpricing” my classes and thereby somehow making it difficult for them to ‘compete.’

    And was also simultaneously “seemingly devaluing because the price point is lower.”

    So, I was both too lean and too fat simultaneously. :)

    Lesson: keep your head down and do your work. ;)

  6. Well, your comment on It’s the Wooo lit a fire under me to get that standing desk working, so there’s that. :)

    I think Matt Stone might be on to something — the low-carb irritability (for me it was more like insanity) makes some of these folks really crazy cranky.

  7. I think you are perfect!!!
    your blog made inspiring reading. I want to start on your plan immediately. I’m vegetarian and was always curvy since my teens. Fat comments made me go on many many binge diets and I developed health problems.
    I’m currently 37 years and weight about 165 pounds at a height if 5’3″ . I have worked out on and off for many years. My lost bout of weight loss 4 years ago took me to 130 pounds, i did do a lot of weight training but i was so low on calorie that i lost my energy and quickly had rebound weight gain.
    i have spent the last 2 years getting over my food hang ups. i, starting fresh and going to follow your blog closely. i also have painful knees and that has been making me feel depressed and scared to exercise too much.
    thanks for the inspiration :)

    • I feel you about the pain in exercise. Have you ever tried Teresa Tapp? You can find a post about her in my blog. She’s awesome.

  8. Kind of feels like high school drama all over again doesn’t it? The internet has its good and bad points. The good is that there’s a wealth of information out there and we have the privilege of meeting people from all over the world. The bad is that there’s a slew of inaccurate information out there and we deal with trolls from all over the world. I’m pretty sure they’d never say those words to someone’s face. It’s easy to sit in the comfort of your tiny apartment (or your parents’ basement- ha!) and spout off how much you hate someone you’ve never met. It’s pretty stupid when you think about it.

      • You’re right. I originally was going to say middle school but I was picturing catty high school drama queens who can’t stand when someone else is getting all the attention. lol

  9. The more popular someone becomes in a circle, the cooler some people will feel when they loudly and publicly express how much they don't like that person. You don't get any cool points for disliking a random stranger, but you can feel like you're badass when you troll someone that you believe everyone else loves. Because really, what's the point of grumbling about it if no one sees how epicly nonconformist you are? Saying, 'I hate John from the grocery store' just doesn't hold the same value as saying, 'I hate Sandra Bullock, she's phony and unattractive' when you're trying to feel better about yourself and impress people. People can suck. You rock. Rock on, Amber! :)

  10. We live in such a twisted world don’t we!?!? I love you site and all of your posts! I think you look incredible and in fact I have body envy – although I am working on that.

    Having been on, and still in the midst of, my own journey to love myself as I am and focus on performance goals, not aesthetics , I can more than appreciate your commitment to health and excellence. Thank you for being you and for calling out some of the BS that only confuses people!

    Love it, don’t ever change!


  11. U r such a role model, kaleo! U dont care what others think/say about u….u do what makes u happy and feel good, despite the opposition. U dont follow the status quo. U are confident, strong, and content. That, to me, is what makes up a person with integrity

    I think u look fantastic: u are strong, healthy, and beautiful inside and out. And, u feel good, which is most important. It took u a while to figure out what ur particular body needs and in what amounts…and, u did it all ur own, without following any so-called diet guru/dogma

    U r an inspiration to me. U represent real health and wellbeing. And u have a kind soul, which is the most important trait of all!

    Thank u for the wonderful posts….keep doing what u are doing, and dont ever let anyone steer u away from ur happiness =)

    Thanks, kaleo!

  12. I personally think you look awesome! And I love your posts! People always find reason to ridicule others… I’ve been through tons of it in the last year because others find it necessary to interject on my healthy weight loss… keep doing you! There are lots of us out here who enjoy it.

  13. I think when you expose yourself on the internet, you open yourself up to judgement( good&bad), & criticism. And hey, you can’t please everyone.

  14. I have a feeling that it’s because some of your quotes have been posted on Paleo Drama. Oh well, fuck them anyway. You look great

    • Oh, totally. And we wonder why it’s called Paleo DRAMA: to reply with personal attacks and ridiculing my appearance is so lame and childish. (Thank you, BTW!!)

    • I’m not going anywhere. :) I always say, if you don’t have haters, you’re not doing it right.

  15. they’re just cranky without the carbs! ;-) In all seriousness though, it takes guts to put yourself out there – haters are always gonna hate, especially in this field. I’d just like to thank you once again for actually having the guts to speak up and share your story – from my perspective, your stuff is the stuff young women need to be reading in order to acheive optimal health and body image – most mainstream publications and, yes, most blogs, promote dangerous comparison, unhealthy body-manipulation, and in the most basic sense, self harm. Please keep doing what you’re doing!!!

    • The silver lining here is that it provides a springboard for opening up a discussion about body shaming, which is something I’ve talked about for a long time.

  16. Get it girl! ;-) You could eat ho-ho’s and slurpee’s and you’d still have my support because I like your honesty and open-mindedness. You don’t claim to have all the answers, only the answer to what worked for YOU and you share it freely!!! Stay standing and let the haters hate! You’re on a different plane my’dear! A much HIGHER one. <3

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