Comments on: Granola and Parenting

By: Audrey Scanlan

Audrey Scanlan — Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:15:29 +0000

SO- this is really an interesting discussion.
And Danie, thanks for your comment. I was waiting for a few quiet minutes to form my response to Kaleo and, now, to you, too.
I guess that I am leading this discussion down a philosophic/theological rabbit hole… because I am trying to understand what it is that “makes a person good or bad.” In my religious tradition, we are taught that we are made as sacred beings, holy and good; made “in the image of God.” And, while that is a starting point, we can also ( and do, by virtue of our human nature) screw things up. That’s what it is to be human. To know that while we are made “good,” that our actions can change that around… (the theological departure point here is to note that by God’s grace we are restored… ) AND I believe that part of being faithful is not waiting around for God’s magical wand of forgiveness to make us whole again, but for us to participate in our own work of restoration by trying to make things better by our own actions. By “doing good.”
So, for me, the human person as moral actor, helping to determine one’s own goodness or badness is important.
Last night my nephews came for dinner. My brother is living with us for a a few weeks until he gets a new post-divorce home. His boys love tater tots. In fact, we’ve come to call Tuesday ( a night when he has visitation) “Tater Tot Tuesdays.” So we sat down to dinner. I ate a couple of tater tots. Did it make me a bad person? No. Is he a bad dad for serving tater tots? In m y opinion, no, not if it’s a few tater tots once a week served up with some nutritious other things on the plate. If he served tater tots at every meal? Then I’d be worried.
It’s complicated, isn’t it?
I think that when you throw around words like “disordered” and make black and white judgments… then it gets difficult.

By: Danie

Danie — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 16:51:06 +0000

Kaleo’s point is that while some foods are more nutritious than others, it doesn’t mean we as people are good or bad for eating them or not eating them.

A person’s food choices have nothing to do with how compassionate or kind they are. It is good to expose your kids to a variety of foods that have lots of good stuff in it, but it doesn’t make you a better parent than someone else. Some foods are objectively more “healthy” than other foods, but equating certain food choices with “righteousness” of the person eating them leads to disordered eating. We are not defined as good or bad people whether we decide to eat a carrot or a cookie.

By: Go Kaleo

Go Kaleo — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 15:46:59 +0000

“it is not disordered eating/relationship with food to be aware of the bigger picture regarding the source of one’s food – and clothing, household products, furniture, etc!”

Nope, it sure isn’t. And I didn’t say it was. It’s disordered to think this is an arbiter of your worth as a person, or that it makes you better than other people.

By: Marie

Marie — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 12:33:57 +0000

I’m a HAES girl; however, some choices we make with our dollars are more ethical than others, and ethics is something parents should pass down to their children. As an omnivore, buying meat from pasture raised animals sourced to nearby, local farms I can visit & see for myself how the animals are treated is the most ethical choice. I buy organic produce, local whenever possible, because it is the best choice for the environment. I get the point of this post, but it is not disordered eating/relationship with food to be aware of the bigger picture regarding the source of one’s food – and clothing, household products, furniture, etc! Vote with your dollars!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 02:35:08 +0000

I work out at a YMCA too. Always, the TVs are on.

By: Judy

Judy — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 20:01:51 +0000

This choosy mom prefers Peter Pan!

By: Go Kaleo

Go Kaleo — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 15:30:34 +0000

I don’t disagree with you.

I’m wondering what in my post you interpreted as ‘food choices don’t matter’? Your comments imply that you believe that you’re disagreeing with me when you say chicken and broccoli is more nutritious than McNuggets and fries. Of course it is!

I actually took an extra day to let this percolate in my head before answering, because I don’t want to come across as snarky and I know my matter-of-fact communication style sometimes can. But it’s something I would like to explore with you – as there is usually a small minority of readers who interpret my posts as saying food choices don’t matter – and they are usually people with some pretty disordered ideas about food. Most people understand my overall point, which is that eating mostly whole foods is good for you, but not something that needs to be obsessed about.

By: Beverly Grimmett

Beverly Grimmett — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:53:25 +0000

Right! This choosy mom chooses generic, because we’ve grown accustomed to the taste, because we like peanut butter, but choose to save $2 for something else!

By: Beverly Grimmett

Beverly Grimmett — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:51:30 +0000

Apparently you have money to make that kind of choice for you and your family BUT you don’t know the story behind the person who has a cart of processed DELICIOUSLY GOOD foods.

No one can say whether the cart of processed food is being purchased because they’re cabinets and fridges are already full of more nutrient dense food. Your label of “good” is your opinion, please understand this. Eyes on your own plate, cart, basket, home! No need to judge anyone, cause you just do not know!! “Better choices” are your opinion for your self and should not be pushed on anyone else!

By: Beverly Grimmett

Beverly Grimmett — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:43:40 +0000

YES YES YES!! THUMBS UP!!